Sew much more...

The good thing about having a meltdown; if it's an hour, a day, a week , a month or longer is that at some point you get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

That's when you say, "Self, what is it that you know how to do that always makes you happy?"

For me, it's sewing. And anything to do with looking at patterns always, always relaxes me.

If there is a death in the family, say one of our pets has died, after the burial, I have to find a pattern store. One day, in 1991 my son Joshua's pet rat died. We took it to the vet because she was sick. She was two years old and the vet said she was not eating because she was old and there was nothing we could do for her.

Well, my 13 year old son decided it would be in her best interest to have little Estey put to sleep.

We cried.

We went home, found a box and a towel, a shovel and a tree to plant. I shoveled some. He shoveled some. We cried.

Later, when my husband got home and Josh just wanted to veg out in front of the T.V., I went to the Rag shop and sat for two hours looking at pattern books. I may have bought a pattern or three. Some fabric. Some thread.

I felt better. The tree has beautiful yellow

flowers that attracts yellow butterflies. In the hurricane of 2005, it got pushed over on its' side.
It didn't die. It is still growing, pushed over on its' side.
Estey resides under the roots of the tree.

In 1999 Tabby, our 20 year old cat died. Buried in the back yard. In June of 1999 Lady, my beloved 17 year old Doberman died. She was cremated. Her ashes are on my bookcase shelf.
2008 was a difficult year. We lost Daphne our 14 year old persian/siamese, Squirt, (from my sister Joann who died in 1993 and I got her cat), and finally, Liz our 13 year old boxer (ashes on my
case) all three died that year. I was a wreck.

I spent a lot of time at Joann's looking at and buying patterns and fabric.
Two weeks ago, I took out my box of favorites and spent some time dreaming. Later I pulled out some linen fabric and began to layout, cut and sew.
Now I have six new long, fishtail linen skirts to wear to work.
I have mourned my heart attack.
I feel better.